Lucerne: Land of Magic and High Prices

For Edinburgh's month-long spring break, Caiqian and I backpacked around Europe. After 17 days and visiting at least 8 cities, I have finally have steady internet access. The first city we visited was Lucerne in Caiqian's favorite country, Switzerland. Now that I'm back I'll be doing a post for each city. So without further ado... Lucerne!

Day One

After pumping Caiqian full of Dramamine, she and I took a train to Lucerne using our shiny new EurRail passes. During the ride we both fell asleep pretty fast. I slept because I can't stay awake in moving vehicles and Caiqian because of the drugs.

 Above: The train rides were pretty much like this.

You can imagine our surprise when we woke up, rubbed our eyes, and found ourselves in the most beautiful country in the world.

Above: Switzerland!

Caiqian, despite being heavily sedated, jumped up excitedly and started snapping pictures everywhere. She went from drowsy to bouncy within seconds.

Above: Prepare to see a lot of Caiqian in the coming posts.

The first task in Lucerne was getting to our hostel. To do that we looked at a map and started walking. Almost immediately after we started we heard the difference between Switzerland and most other countries.

Above: What's he playing? Look at the size of that thing!

Living in Lucerne is like living in a postcard. Who turned the saturation of reality up so high? We were surrounded everywhere by blue. The cloudless blue sky, crystal blue lake, and distant blue mountains were all visible from the town square. Instead of going straight to the hostel we succumbed to the beauty just sat down beside the lake and started eating.

Above: I get to have the comforts of city life with this view? Magic...

There was no dirt or trash anywhere. Sounds crazy I know, but somehow there just wasn't any. The only things floating on the lake were little white sailboats in the distance. And the cement wall along the lake where we sat was so clean you could eat off it. I knew I was going to love this place.

Above: I'm good at expressing appreciation.

First we got some money from the ATM. Look how colorful the Swiss-Franc bills were! No wonder they refuse to convert to the Euro.

Above: Even the money is vibrant.

With our new money powers we went window shopping. While walking by a candy store I took the best picture of Caiqian ever: Caiqian facing a wall of different ice creams.

Above: Caiqian mesmerized.

Finally it was time to get to our hostel. The people at Lion Lodge Lucerne were very nice. They even let us have a converter for free given a deposit. The one thing that freaked me out was looking out our window to the left. I swear this optical illusion was designed to work only from our window. From the ground floor it just looked like a painting on a wall, but from the second story it became a street that wasn't there.

Above: Switzerland's trying to confuse me.

After Caiqian took an hour-long shower (she has about 5 minutes of hot water in Paris) she and I watched some Doctor Who and dozed off excited for day two. 

Day Two

Caiqian and I decided to start off our second day at Laderach, a local chocolatier shop. They had all kinds of neat goodies, like the world's biggest Toblerone bar. This bar was bigger than my leg.

Above: You call that a Toblerone bar? This is a Toblerone bar.

There was also this neat wooden device where you put in a wheel of chocolate and shave off the top of the chocolate wheel with a rotating blade. Great way to make a little bit of chocolate go a long way.

Above: An idea we should steal from the Swiss.

After buying a packet of assorted chocolates, Caiqian and I decided to rent a paddle boat for an hour and a half. The paddling was fantastic. We were the only ones on the lake. It was warm with a slight breeze, and we had a bagful of treats. Good times. 

Above: It's impossible not to be happy on a paddle boat.

Above: Chocolate, paddling, and beautiful weather? No wonder she's happy.

Above: So many types of chocolate.

There must have been twenty types of chocolate in that bag. There was white chocolate, white chocolate with berries, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, coffee chocolate, chocolate with nuts, chocolate with fruits, hazelnut chocolate, and even chocolate with green peanut-type things. We just ate them one at a time floating on the lake. 

Unfortunately, the bottle of water I thought I brought disappeared. Did it roll off into the lake? Where did it disappear to? Where does all litter disappear to? Conspiracy? Anyways, the water we were paddling on was very clear. I could easily see forty feet below to the lake bottom. I drank a handful of water just to get the sticky chocolate taste out of my mouth and you know what? It tasted cold and refreshing.

Above: Large still body of water clean enough to drink? Magic...

After paddling Caiqian and I went to see the one free monument Lucerne was known for, the

Löwendenkmal (the dying lion monument). It was surprisingly close to our hostel, like everything in Lucerne.

Above: Caiqian's a saaaaad lion.

Above: Bryan is an inappropriately happy lion.

In the pictures it's hard to show how large this lion is. Fortunately while we were there a pigeon decided to perch atop the lion, which shows the scale of it.

Above: No happiness for giant lions.

After the lion Caiqian and I walked around town. One weird place we went to was this art museum of sorts where we found these little cardboard creatures all over the place. It was kind of screwy.

Above: What am I looking at?

Above: Really Switzerland?

Above: ...

After walking back outside I realized these people are really rich, like super-duper rich. The one homeless guy we found looked exactly like Santa. Also there was the one bit of construction where they actually took pictures around the crane and printed huge boards to place around it so that it blent in. For a country to be this prosperous someone must be getting really exploited. I have a feeling it's the rest of the world.

Above: Look, it says magic.

The ugliest part of Switzerland was this family outside a glasses shop. I honestly can't imagine why the people of the shop thought this would be good advertising for glasses.

Above: I just wanted to fit in.

Finally it was time for dinner. Caiqian and I did some research, and if you're in Lucerne the best meal you can get is to order is wienerschnitzel at ye Olde Swiss House.

Above: Ye Olde Swiss House.

Now I'm used to free bread with dinner, but this time I was given something interesting.

Above: Why put the butter on ice?

This iced butter was impossible to smear. I usually liked my butter at room temperature so that it could be easily spread. Could Switzerland have made a mistake with iced butter? Of course not. Switzerland makes no mistakes. They're just more clever than I could possibly imagine.

Above: WAIT, it unrolls? Magic...

After the bread it was time for the main event. To make the wienerschnitzel a whole cooking set was brought outside to our table.

Above: To make it they used that whole block of butter. So much butter.

Caiqian and I got up from our seats to watch our meal be cooked. When it was over we gave her some applause.

Above: Wienerschnitzel in progress.

Above: Wienerschnitzel complete. 

The schnitzel was crunchy and buttery and salty and a fantastic way to end our already fantastic second day. What else could Lucerne offer us for day three?

Day Three

Caiqian and I woke up and decided to go up Mount Pilatus. Mount Pilatus is a 2000 meter mountain beside Lucerne that had an extensive gondola system all the way to the top. I don't remember the last time I ever went in a gondola, so I was very excited. Ready to get on?

Above: Gondola station.

The gondola ride was awesome. It was like slowly levitating up the mountain in a metal box. The gondola system was also fun to watch. It was constantly running and while we were going up the mountain on one line we could see other people going down the mountain on the other line. Needless to say, the view was  magnificent. Look how many gondola boxes there were on our ascent!

Above: So many gondolas.

The higher we got the snowier it became. I only wore one long sleeve shirt on the way up, what was I thinking? Was I going to freeze when I got to the top?

Above: Up, up, up we go.

When we finally made it to the top of the mountain we found the most unexpected surprise. Instead of being freezing cold, it was perfectly warm at the top of the snowy mountain. In fact, there were sunbathing chairs. Are you serious Switzerland? How... how did you do that?

Above: Sunbathing comfortably atop a snowy mountain? Magic...

It was a bit bright for me, so I donned a stylish toilet paper blindfold. Caiqian wasn't going to let me get away with it without taking a picture.

Above: I'm just fashion-forward.

After sunbathing Caiqian and I took a short path to the very peak of Pilatus. There we could see everything. Switzerland never has any clouds or pollution, so this might have actually been the farthest I've ever seen in my entire life (barring celestial bodies).

Above: So high!

At the very peak the weather was probably around 60 degrees Fahrenheit, but in the sun Caiqian and I were perfectly comfortable. I don't even know how there was snow with such warm weather. After one last picture of us together, we took a gondola ride back down.

Above: Caiqian and I at the top of Lucerne.

Now Switzerland is known for banks, watches, chocolate, knifes, mountains, neutrality and what? You guessed it... fondue! Actually I never knew that Switzerland was known for fondue, but Caiqian was very knowledgeable and did a lot of research to find the best fondue place in Lucerne. We eventually went to Restaurant Fritschi. It was there I experienced ostrich steak for the first time.

Above: MMMmmmm... ostrich steak....

Ostrich steak is wonderful. At Fritschi we ordered an ostrich steak and beef fondue. The fondue consisted of a pot of boiling oil and a heaping plate of both meats. It came with five bowls of different dipping sauces and an extra bowl of onions and such. You cook the meat in the oil and then dip it in a sauce to eat. It was the best savory fondue I've ever had.

For dessert we had a chocolate fondue with kiwis, strawberries, pineapples, oranges, and two servings of bananas. Another delicious fondue that satisfied Caiqian's fondue craze.

Above: True Fondue.

The meal overall was amazing, but costly. In fact, the biggest problem with Switzerland is how much everything costs. I know that going around Europe is expensive, but now I've been around and let me say that Switzerland is by far the most expensive place you can visit. At least for the price you get quality. Caiqian was so happy that she swore that we'd come back later.

After the third day we said good bye to Lucerne. The whole experience was wonderful and so glad we got to stay for three days. But there was still much to look forward to, especially since our next destination was Venice!

Inverness, Loch Ness, and Urquhart Castle

Visiting Inverness was my last adventure in Edinburgh before leaving for Paris. Jordan and I traveled to Inverness while Sara was visiting Michael in London. Inverness is the city beside Loch Ness. It took me a while to realize that Loch Ness meant Lake Ness, as in the lake beside Inverness. After realizing this I knew I had to see Loch Ness during my visit. You'd think that seeing the Loch Ness monster would be the first thing I'd do after arriving at Scotland, but I got quite enough Nessie (the nickname for the Loch Ness monster) during this trip to compensate for my delay.

Above: Get out of my keyboard Nessie!

What I didn't realize the morning of the trip was that it happened to also be Scotland's leap-forward day. So when I woke up Sunday morning feeling like I had time, I was wrong. Instead of an hour and forty minutes, I only had forty minutes to make a bus ride that was a forty minute walk away! I frantically called Jordan and used my joggin' legs that morning. We made the bus about ten minutes before it departed. Then began the long bus ride.

Above: A lot of our trip was in a bus.

Inverness, like the Isle of Skye, is in the Scottish Highlands. Fortunately our long bus ride was pretty like my trip to Skye. It also had a lot of sheep.

Above: Sheep look like lice on the earth's green scalp.

Being in a bus for 3+ hours can be pretty tiring though, even with the pretty views. Jordan didn't have much sleep the night before and decided to catch some Z's. It didn't take long until I joined in.

Above: It was a pretty long bus ride.

Eventually we made it to the city of Inverness. The city itself was scenic, especially around the central river that divided the city.

Above: Are we there yet? Yes!

We walked around the city but were surprised to find that nearly all of the stores were closed. Note for all future adventures: Be careful visiting places on Sunday. It could be the case that everything's closed. Anyway, we took a nice walk around the river. Rivers don't take days off.

Above: Inverness has a pretty sweet river.

I guess Inverness is no stranger to snow, as indicated by this snowflake bridge. While we were there though the weather was a nice 15°C (60°F) with a light breeze.

Above: Snowflake Bridge.

The river was faster than any I've seen in Texas, or the US for that matter. I don't know how river speeds are calculated but I'd easily clock this river at 5mph which was pretty impressive for such a wide river.

Above: Too bad they didn't do boat rides.

Eventually we found the one thing that is always open, McDonalds. I've always heard that McDonalds had different foods in different regions but here I didn't know what to expect. At first I didn't see anything until Jordan pointed out they had Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurries! The picture doesn't do it justice, but it was like a vanilla McFlurry with orange Cadbury creme and blent chocolate bits from the egg.

Above: Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry.

Jordan and I also went inside this mall which was completely abandoned. It was eery having a whole mall to ourselves. It felt like urban exploring except everything was locked up which prevented me from having too much fun. But to give an idea of how large and empty it was, look at this.

Above: Everything's Closed on Sundays.

Now imagine a whole mall like this. Creepy.

Eventually Jordan and I took a bus down to Loch Ness to catch the two-hour cruise that we booked. We arrived a bit early, so we explored the gift shop nearby.

Above: Loch Ness Gift Shop.

The shop was full of Nessie goodies and was also the first place where I've bought any souvenir more complicated than a refrigerator magnet.

Above: Do these sheep remind anyone else of Wallace and Gromit?

Needless to say, the shop had a pretty distinct Nessie theme.

Above: Bountiful proof of Nessie's profitability

And here's the gift I treated myself too. I like that it can be placed almost anywhere and uses the imagination of the viewer to see the connections that aren't there. It reminded me of the famous Kanizsa Triangle.

Above: Schweet toy.

Above: Schweet Kanizsa Triangle.

Do you see a white triangle? It isn't there. Technically the only things in the picture are the black shapes (even though we all know there's definitely a white triangle). Anyways, I think the Nessie toy uses similar techniques which is why I like it.

Anyways, after we left to make it to our cruise we noticed a lot of Loch Ness Monster sculptures outside. Some were more realistic than others.

Above: Oh, there she is. No need to look anymore.

Above: Big Purple Nessie.

Above: Nessie got fat.

Eventually we made it to our cruise. Jordan and I both missed the sensation of being on a boat so we were very excited to be on the sea again.

Above: Jacobite Cruise Time.

And here she is, the Jacobite "Freedom" cruise ship. There were a surprising number of people on our cruise tour, especially considering it was Sunday. I later realized they were mostly from one large tour group.

Above: Our Nessie-Spotting Vessel.

The ship had a nice sheltered lower deck with a bar and a cold windy upper deck for taking pictures. When we began most people were on the upper deck. When we returned most people had retired to the lower one.

Above: The Bowels.

Jordan and I snapped some pictures of us at the front of the boat while we were moving. I don't think we were supposed to be there, but no one shouted at us. Hey, it turned out better than it usually does for me.

Above: The Front.

Like I said before, the top deck was very windy and very cold. Trees don't grow on lakes, so there was nothing to slow down the ferocious wind, especially since we were high up.

Above: The Top Deck.

I asked a nice lady to take a picture of Jordan and I and she happily did. Jordan and I took off our hoods and squeezed out a smile before our teeth froze.

Above: My hair is getting pretty long.

After seeing how much hair was in my face the first picture I quickly took a picture with my hair getting blown back.

Above: It was pretty windy up there.

There weren't many remarkable features around Loch Ness since it was sparsely inhabited. This pattern confused me a bit however.

Above: How do they make it so only the plants in the square stay alive?

The cruise was supposed to be a tour with commentary, but unfortunately we had no live guide. It was some canned audio from a speaker that told stories every 10 minutes or so. The trip mostly ended up being a bunch of shivering people looking at each other, the boat, and the scenery.

Above: Throw these life platforms to knock out Nessie.

One story the speaker told us of Loch Ness was about a sailor who saw Nessie in the early 70's. After the sighting he patrolled up and down the loch nonstop for twenty years. He kept this up until he snapped some of the more famous pictures of Loch Ness that made their rounds around the internet. He ended up going crazy after his photos were called fake.

Above: Monster photographs are always so blurry.

On our trip we didn't see any mad sea-farers that had been patrolling the loch for decades, but there were some people. Who knows, maybe they were modern-day crazies.

Above: We weren't the only vessel on Loch Ness.

About thirty minutes in our two-hour cruise we got close to Urquhart Castle.

Above: View of Urquhart from Loch Ness.

I noticed that we kept getting closer, and was worried when we were going to turn away. When I asked a crew mate he told me that our two-hour cruise was actually a thirty minute cruise to the castle, an hour stay at the castle, followed by a thirty minute ride back. This was pretty funny since Jordan had told me earlier that she was sick of castles and did not care to see another one. Whoops!

Above: We Docked?

I guess we were going to the castle. We started by going uphill to the gift shop and free movie theatre where they told us about Urquhart's history.

Above: Urquhart Gift Shop and "Movie Theatre."

Urquhart's history was actually pretty peaceful and boring. The main interesting bit is that the owners detonated the whole castle with a bunch of gunpowder when they finally abandoned it so that others wouldn't be able to use it.

The castle had some cool stuff, like this trebuchet for all the firing it didn't do.

Above: Big Flinger.

Above: Trebuchet Tourist.

It's too bad that they blew it up. When the castle restorers found it they essentially tried to piece together a bunch of rubble. Unfortunately lots of stones were stolen by locals to build their own homes. Ancient recycling. I guess though some fragments were too large to steal, like the piece below Jordan's holding up.

Above: Surviving Part of the Castle's Explosion.

The explosion and erosion thoroughly destroyed the castle. Imagine that all the small buildings connected by the sidewalk used to be one unified structure.

Above: Disconnected Parts of the Castle.

Above: It was pretty hilly.

There were a lot of small stone outlines of some fragments at the castle. Still this castle was pretty bare so Jordan and I provided a lot of the fun ourselves.

Above: Jordan kicking down the chicken coop walls.

The one part of the castle that did stand the test of time (and gunpowder) was the northern lookout tower.

Above: Last Real Remnants of Urquhart

I'm sure a lot of the tower was reconstructed, but it was nice having at least one building with stories.

Above: Entrance to the Tower.

And at the top there was a nice view of the loch, which makes sense considering it was a lookout tower.

Above: View From the Top

At the top of the tower there was also had a nice blueprint-style view of what the Urquhart Castle rooms looked like back when it was whole. You can just imagine the people walking in and out of the rooms like ants.

Above: View of Urquhart's rooms.

Eventually our hour was up so Jordan and I waited at the dock for our ship to arrive. The last thing we needed was getting stranded at this empty castle so far away from a real city. Jordan and I had some fun skipping rocks on Loch Ness. Just looking around and feeling the breeze nice too.

Above: Waiting to Go.

Our ship came and we parted with Urquhart Castle. The cruise back was pretty similar to the cruise forward except that most people huddled inside this time.

Above: Bye bye castle.

After returning to our drop off point I noticed that a little rainbow formed in the sky! At the time it was very clear and colorful.

Above: Loch... rainbow?

Unfortunately the camera had a bit of a hard time capturing it, but that reminds me of other good news! Caiqian got my Photoshop CS4 which was on my bucket list. Don't worry though, I won't start abusing it and photoshopping every single picture I take. Oh, speaking about photoshopping every single picture I take, here I made the rainbow a bit easier to see. Behold, the rainbow over Loch Ness!

Above: See the Rainbow. Enhance the Rainbow.

But seriously, don't worry about me abusing Photoshop. All my pictures have been and always will be totally legit. Speaking of my legit pictures, look at my favorite Loch Ness snapshot.

Above: No, not this one.

Above: BWRAAAGHGHAGAAAHH

Well there you have it folks. Definitive proof that the Loch Ness monster exists. This photo shows that not only is the Loch Ness monster is real, but that he's pissed. Who'd have thought that all those doctored, blurry shots by mad fisherman were real?

But super-seriously, Jordan and I found Inverness to be beautiful but kind of quiet. I'd suggest bringing lots of entertainment for the bus ride and to avoid going to the town on Sunday. Would I do it again? No. But I'm glad I visited the world-famous lake and gained some appreciation for its monster.